That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
