I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
