I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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