What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
