And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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