Quick, to the slutcave!
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
