You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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