I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
