My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
