My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
