we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm sobbing to NWA
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
