I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
