I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
