I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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