Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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