The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
