Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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