She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
i think i just lost a toe
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
