I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
