so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
