I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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