People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
