I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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