How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
