Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
