At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
