and my herpes radar will keep us safe
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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