Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
