Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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