are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
