They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
