'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
