Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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