Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
