Me too!
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
