Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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