Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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