it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Randomize
