It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize