Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
