Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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