youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
