some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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