That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
it's like iHOP with fire
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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