Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I smell like Dick and happiness
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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