Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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