My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize