There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
