He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
