she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize