The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I just blew my weed a kiss
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
