he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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