Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
