She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
