That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
