ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
