No period for spring break; use this wisely.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
