It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
