Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
