but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
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