the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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